Private Parts
Howard: All right! Now let’s go to our newest member of the panel, Mr. Jackie “Jokeman” Martling. Blank willow.
Jackie: Well, Gene, I didn’t write it too neat, so I have a sloppy pussy.
Howard: Sloppy pussy! We had a sloppy and a fuzzy pussy and a very big one.
Fred: Are we talking about Brett again?
Howard: All right, now, Let’s keep going. Now it’s gonna get a little rougher, OK? Everybody ready? Blank a-doodle-doo. Blank a-doodle-doo. [Music Plays] Blank a-doodle-doo. Think about that while the celebrities are writing. Here we are. Let’s go over to our Dick Nixon, our own ex-president. What do you got there, Dick?
Fred: Well, it takes a Dick to know a cock, and that’s what I wrote.
Howard: Cock-a-doodle-doo. Now, that’s what I would have said. That seemed like the obvious answer. OK, let’s go to our own Jackie “The Jokeman” Martling. Jackie The Jokeman?
Jackie: Gene, I have cock, and I wrote it big. I have a big cock.
Howard: Uh, I don’t think you can say “big cock” on the radio. I think that’s a no-no.
Robin: But I just said pussy.
Jackie: Yeah, she just said pussy.
Howard: Yes, pussy is OK. It’s the way he says it. “Big cock” coming out of your mouth sounds awfully dirty. Jackie: So I can’t say “big cock,” but you can say “big cock coming out of my mouth”?
Howard: That’s correct. Jackie: That sucks.
Fred: Did you just say, “big cock coming out of your mouth sucks”?
Howard: All right, enough of this nonsense. We gotta move to Miss Brett Somers.
Robin: Just like the boys, Gene, I’ve got cock.
Howard: There it is, cock-a-doo…do me a favor and hold that up so I can see your cock.
Jackie: Aw, Gene, don’t have…
Howard: All right, there it is. Cock, cock, cock. I must tell you, though, we have to end this fun right now.
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